Forwarding chain mail does not improve your love life.


Sports cars do not increase the size of your penis.


While capitalism is an unequal distribution of weatlh, communism is an equal distribution of poverty.


In Dungeons and Dragons, Monks CAN be sneak attacked.


Us Athiests do not actually worship Satan.


The rain in spain stays almost invariably in the hills.


There is a differeance between Geeks and Nerds. Us Geeks actually have social lives.


Not all things that come in small packages are good. Syphillis for example.


Pop music is more likely to create serial killers than Metal.


Video games are good for your reflexes.


Hamsters are plotting to destroy us all. Slowly.


MTV isn't anti-censorship.


Australia does not support the war on Iraq.


Reality television is not actually based on reality.


Patriotism is a good way of pissing off other countries.


We are all the dreams of a brain floating in a jar.


Lawnmovers are effective weapons for killing zombies.


Assholes are impervious to logic and common sense.


Depreciation of the value of a currency is not nesseserily a bad thing.


Girls you meet on the internet aren't always girls.


Mariyln Manson is actually human, not the devil.


He is also male.


Peter Jackson makes damn funny horror movies.


Aliens from Mars are stealing our jobs!


Slipknot aren't as good as everyone says they are.


Giving yourself a self-indulgent nickname in chat programs does not actually make you so.


Witty insults do not solely consist of the word "Fuck".


Not all men are pigs. Oh wait. . .


An apple a day will only keep the doctor away if you throw it hard enough.


Innuendos are really Italian suppositories.


Reading this space can cause dihorria.


Role-playing games do not lead to Satanic worship or suicide rituals.


Pissing off assholes is a highly satisfying recreational activity.


Giving someone sex organs wrapped up in paper is apparantly a legal yet morbid way of displaying affection.


Subliminal messages are not KILL KILL KILL part of mainstream music.


Dogs are more sexually attracted to human legs even more than they are attracted to their own species.


A good listener passes the time by fantasising about the person talking.


Mobile phones actually are for talking to people, as opposed to taking pictures of them, playing games ect.


Britney Spears CDs are great. They are the perfect drinks coasters.


Talking in abbriviated words in chat-rooms is not cool or unique.


Anonynimity is no excuse for flaming people.


Hip-hop culture encourages bad grammer.


Structural engineering is easy if you follow these three physical laws:
Concrete is heavy, water runs downhill, and you can't push string.

Everyone can sing, not everyone can play an instrument.


Buying more than one lottery ticket does not significantly increase your chance of actually winning.


Having good looks is not preferable to having a good personality.


Jackass is not the height of intellectual comedy.


Islam is not based around violence.


Glasses, although they look geeky, are better for your eyes than contact lenses.


Smilie Central and Bonzai Buddy are full of spy/ad-ware.


P2P sharing is not about freedom of information, its about getting free stuff.


Michael Moore does not lie, he selects detail.


Making business decisions with a magic-8 ball is not a good idea.


Exercise equipment only works if you use it to exercise.


Spike Milligan lives in my cupboard.


Guns do not increase your personal safety.


Nigerian royalty does not want to give you money.


Michael Jackson is not a weirdo...just kidding!


Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" was not a song written to pick up chicks.


All homophobes are gay.


George Bush is a greater threat to America than the terrorists.


Buying a cheap car will end up costing you more in the long run.


The "Sassy chick" attitude makes me laugh my ass off.


Australian flies are from the devil's arsehole!


Trying to get rid of an English accent is harder than nailing water to the wall.


Obsolete computer parts make good projectiles.


Political correctness is overrated.


It is fun to attack coke cans with a machete.


I am completely objective.


The capital of Australia is not actually Sydney.


Ed Gein is more real than leatherface.


Remaking classic films does not guarentee the remake will be a good movie.


It is hard to touch ANYTHING with a 10 foot pole.


Dogs can look up.


Cats are the epitome of evil and sadism.


You do not know more about "Real Life" than your parents.


Giving me lots of money makes you more attractive.


Masterbation is good for your eyesight.


The Metric system is the real reason the English and Americans hate the French.


Apple computers are comparable in performance to IBM compatables of the same price.



The U.S. really is stupid enough to elect George Bush twice.


Having ADD is really an excuse to get at some drugs.


The personal lives of celebreties are just as boring and mundane as yours.


Scratching records does not make you a musician.


Dyslexia is not alwyas obvious.


If it takes two to tango then breakdancing must be masterbation.


Feeding pork to sheep to stop them being exported to the middle east and thus killing the sheep in the process is really ironic.


Bill Gates already owns your soul.


Video game movie tie-ins exist soley for the purposes of getting you off video games and back into movies.